It’s always the last choice, but they’re not gonna not take it. Giving a hand job is like giving someone a yellow Starburst. But if you’re reading this and are one of those girls who thinks this doesn’t apply to you because you have a vagine of gold and you treat your guy to half-assed hand jobs on the reg, you’re the reason he cheats, but I guess also the reason I’m employed. On one hand, *insert slow golf clap here*. Maybe it’s just the type of savage friends I choose to surround myself with, but when I asked how often they give head, this was literally their response: But since I’m supposed to be giving you better ways to enjoy sucking dick, while somehow convincing my mom that I’m still at least half a virgin, I’m here to tell you to sack up (pun intended), because dedicating your precious time to giving one blowie isn’t all that fucking bad. Like, it never actually leaves, but somehow always gets checked off first-sort of like my last Tinder hookup. It’s that item at the bottom of your to-do list that you can get away with not doing, but probably should be done soon. I’ll be the first to admit that the thought of giving a blow job used to feel like a fucking chore.
